


The Acquiantance

by mmev



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Poetry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 15:10:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21038240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmev/pseuds/mmev
Summary: sorry it looks this way, I don't know how to fix the formatting





	The Acquiantance

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it looks this way, I don't know how to fix the formatting

**T**wo  
times, I have spoken to them face to face only two times, each time it is short and insignificant to them probably but it means the world to me.

  
**H**eat  
rises to my cheeks when I think of them, but I keep telling myself that it is too early, I don’t know them well enough to keep feeling this conscious about everything that I do and say.

  
**E**very  
time I get like this, I remind myself that we aren’t even friends, just acquaintances and nothing more. It never works.

* * *

**A**nother  
problem that I have with this infatuation is how damning it is. If anyone found out, it could be the end of me. This person is not mine to love and every time I fall deeper, I am digging myself a deeper and deeper grave. I see them...and I just keep digging.

  
**C**aring  
about someone that you aren’t supposed to is such a two-way street. You can see how it could work out both ways but you are too afraid to do either so you just sit and stare. I’ve been staring a lot as of late.

  
Quiet.  
Silence was never something that I liked very much. It always made me anxious, thinking that I’ve done something wrong, something damaging. Yet, when I am with that person, there is silence and it is comfortable. Why do I feel like this with someone that I cannot have?

  
**U**nless  
something magnificent happens, I will be pining forever. It wouldn’t take much out of me to just say something but then I start overthinking. What if they don’t like me back? What if they are disgusted? What if I am imagining this? I don’t have answers to these questions, so I sit and stare. Sit and stare.

  
**A**t  
this point being around them is suffocating. The words feel like a beast, attempting to claw their way out of me, so all I can do is be quiet. The silence is now uncomfortable because now that we have gotten closer, it feels like distance. My feelings are going to end up driving a wedge between me and my…… who are they to me?

  
**I**  
ruined everything. I should have never said anything. While writing is my safe haven, words are not and now everything that I’ve worked so hard on is gone in a matter of minutes. Years and years of careful planning, building up the courage to talk to them, finding the time to spend with them, late-night conversations and relationship progressions, all down the drain. All over 3 stupid words.

**N**umb.  
I see them and now instead of the butterflies, all I feel is numb. I wish that I could reach out and apologize, say something, say anything but I can’t. My pride, while in a steaming heap on the floor, is still there so I refuse to run after someone who doesn’t care and never will. (but I still really really wish that they did)

**T**here  
is some addicting about a certain kind of sadness. While I want to let go, letting go of the sadness feels like I am letting go of them and I don’t want to do that. I should just want to let them go but I still love them so much and I want to scream at how unfair everything is. The fact that I am the only one who feels like this bothers me the most. But there is nothing that I can do to change it, so I sit, sad and angry and staring.

**A**  
missed call sets new things into motion. A voice mail asking to meet. It was something so unexpected and spontaneous and the fact that it fills me with so much joy is scary for me because it could go really bad, it could be a set up or a trap, but I really want to believe that it isn't, that its just a meet up to tie up loose ends. (Hopefully, the loose ends will be tied up in a way that I like.)  
Never have I ever been so nervous. Sitting here waiting for them to show up is nerve-wracking. I could just be stood up, but I don’t want to just give up. So I sit. And so I wait.

**C**arefully  
they explain their side of the story. I sit and listen and try not to jump out of my chair when I hear what I want to hear. This entire experience makes me just fall for them even more and wow. Somehow, some way we found our way to each other.

**E**veryday.  
That’s how often we talk now that we’re together. Life is funny in the sense that you’ll never know who will become what in the future. Someone that you love dearly could become your biggest enemy, or someone you hate can become the most important person in the world to you. In my case though, my acquaintance became my world.

_Fin._


End file.
